September

Fall. Autumn. Whatever you choose to call it, it is my favorite time of the year. That's what I say. That's what I think I think. This time of year, I always find myself going back to 1996. This year that makes it 17 years ago. The worst time in my life. It usually begins on the 23rd. The day I got the call. I clearly remember most conversations and most places I went. Then the 24th gets here. I remember the hope I had. The worst case scenario isn't really going to happen in my life. I remember dinner out with my dear friend and roommate. We talked about all the things we wanted to do in our lives before the world as we know it comes to an end. "Hey God, wait on us to do what we want." Oh the path we have each forged through since that evening. I remember we both ordered the same meal. I got water. She got sweet tea. The bill came and both our totals were $6.66. I was charged for sweet tea. I got that changed and she ordered dessert. The updated call that night wasn't so good. The 25th was a day of riding to Virginia and not eating and getting a headache and eating a grilled ham and cheese from a hospital cafeteria. The 26th? A grim yellow painted room with boxes of tissues placed strategically throughout the room. Planning a funeral for someone I could still go see but who couldn't respond. The 27th is what I refer to as the worst day of my life. I suppose because even though we've already planned the funeral the doctors have stamped a date and time and so it's official. I reflect on this week every single year. For 17 years I have spent time this very week thinking and remembering so many details of the same horrific event. Tonight I am asking myself if in doing this am I missing out on capturing brilliant details of today! Autumn. Crisp mornings. Warm afternoons. Beautiful colors to be seen. Pumpkin smells. Spice smells. Apple and Cinnamon smells. So many of my favorites. Yet, I spend almost a week every year during my most favorite season remembering every little detail of the worst time of my life. Today I began getting things in order in our new home. What a blessing. So much present to work with.

A sweet pup found his comfy spot