I'm not sure what direction this blog will go or what purpose it will serve over time. I'm a thinker with a lot of emotion. Gift? Maybe.
Today I spent a couple hours with a little boy who rocked me to the core. He has these big brown eyes like his momma. Multiple times he said to me, "I need you mom." I'm not his mom. I can't go get his mom. My friend is keeping him this week while Dad is at work. He called her mom, too. Suddenly I was 19 years old holding a 6 year old hand belonging to a boy whose eyes are also brown who said to me, "I need a mom." I couldn't get the boy's mom either. This boy can tell you his mom is in Heaven, but what comfort can that bring a 3 year old? He doesn't understand. Sweet boy, I don't understand. You are 3. One day you will be 19 like a blue eyed girl I know who still hurts because like you her momma went to heaven when she was 3. My heart is broken for you sweet boy because I know you will have no memories of your momma. Many will tell you she lit up a room when she walked in. Many will tell you she was one smart lady. Many will tell you she had this way about her that got her what she wanted. A few will tell you her secrets. Sweet boy, the loss of your momma punches me in the gut sometimes. When I think about you and your sister and your brother I feel fear. You have a great daddy. I pray that will be a factor in there being less turmoil and more stability for you than there has been for my brown eyed boy and blue eyed girl.
