If you had a pharmacy question, she could answer it. If she felt like she needed to find more information for you, she would. If you're a little bit crazy and came to the pharmacy all. the. time, you were fondly added to Traci's fan club. She would flash that bright smile with those white teeth and you would feel like the greatest person in the world. Many people heard "I was just thinking about you!" If Traci wanted something to happen a certain way, it happened.
I'll share some advice she gave me. If you're going to meet someone and your heart has you so excited about this encounter, but your brain is telling you all sorts of different things, so now you're confused, just pause. What does your gut instinct say? Listen to that. In 10 years that has never failed me. If my gut instinct says something isn't quite right, something has always been wrong. Another little tidbit: Don't settle for good. How can it be great?! Reach for it!
Today I remember her. I remember the truths she shared with me, saying things I knew deep down, but didn't want anyone else to see. She made me face them. We had a rough patch in our friendship, but we overcame it. At one time I was mad at her. I didn't understand the things she was doing. It didn't fit the vision of Traci that I had. You know what? She was human, too. It wasn't for me to understand. It was for me to love her anyway. She gave me a lot. In return, I just needed to love her and be her friend. I supported her as she searched for happiness.
A year ago today I was shopping with my dear friend Erica. Earlier I had sent Traci a text telling her happy birthday. She responded and asked about my day. I told her we were looking at baby stuff for Erica's baby that was on the way. She replied by telling me how proud she was of both of us and what strong women we turned out to be. I think Erica will agree with me that that statement holds a special place.
This is her first birthday that we think about her without her here. It's still raw. It's still emotional. I was so certain she could conquer cancer twice. Traci, you left us all with bits of you tucked inside of us. God knew I needed you for a time. That short time will stay with me my lifetime.
