Forever Friend

Today I have to tell about my grand friend. What began as a connection due to loss and sadness quickly turned into the best friendship. She saw many tears, too many tears, fall from my eyes. She carefully spoke words of concern when she knew I was being told lie after lie. We created our own adventurers. We may or may not have went around the then McDonough circle square 8 times without a single other car in sight. Maybe we would leave a certain friend at a gas station every single time he went inside the store, and then drove across the divided highway and beeped the horn when he came out. Perhaps, only perhaps, did we perfect investigative skills in a stalking sort of way.  Nobody quit her job after purposely getting taco bell sauce on her work shirt. Did we go get crimped hair at Shekinah's, or did we not? It may just be that we walked into a bar in our pajamas. But be sure that any other time we went somewhere we put hours into coordinating outfits.

Then we met our lifetime partners. You know those days when you sat around talking about how your husbands just had to get along. Well we got our wish! I'm sure in the early days they both just wanted us to hush sometimes (or more than sometimes). Now they could just leave us chatting and giggling and hang out without us. Winners!

Weddings. Babies. Going back to school as an adult. We've got this. My forever friend. Little old ladies laughing about the most ridiculous things.

Happy Birthday, Sabrina Karen! Doing life with you is the best. I wouldn't want to do it without you.

Happy Birthday Traci Robinson

Today would have been a day celebrating my special friend. Once in a while you have the privilege of having someone in your life whose impact continues even after their physical presence is gone. I know I'm not the only one whom she gave the gift of life long knowledge. Today, in honor of her birthday, I'm going to share the Traci Robinson I know.

If you had a pharmacy question, she could answer it. If she felt like she needed to find more information for you, she would. If you're a little bit crazy and came to the pharmacy all. the. time, you were fondly added to Traci's fan club. She would flash that bright smile with those white teeth and you would feel like the greatest person in the world. Many people heard "I was just thinking about you!" If Traci wanted something to happen a certain way, it happened.

I'll share some advice she gave me. If you're going to meet someone and your heart has you so excited about this encounter, but your brain is telling you all sorts of different things, so now you're confused, just pause. What does your gut instinct say? Listen to that. In 10 years that has never failed me. If my gut instinct says something isn't quite right, something has always been wrong. Another little tidbit: Don't settle for good. How can it be great?! Reach for it!

Today I remember her. I remember the truths she shared with me, saying things I knew deep down, but didn't want anyone else to see. She made me face them. We had a rough patch in our friendship, but we overcame it. At one time I was mad at her. I didn't understand the things she was doing. It didn't fit the vision of Traci that I had. You know what? She was human, too. It wasn't for me to understand. It was for me to love her anyway. She gave me a lot. In return, I just needed to love her and be her friend. I supported her as she searched for happiness.

A year ago today I was shopping with my dear friend Erica. Earlier I had sent Traci a text telling her happy birthday. She responded and asked about my day. I told her we were looking at baby stuff for Erica's baby that was on the way. She replied by telling me how proud she was of both of us and what strong women we turned out to be. I think Erica will agree with me that that statement holds a special place.

This is her first birthday that we think about her without her here. It's still raw. It's still emotional. I was so certain she could conquer cancer twice. Traci, you left us all with bits of you tucked inside of us. God knew I needed you for a time. That short time will stay with me my lifetime.

Excluded

Screams of terror "I want momma!" What would cause such a thing for the newly 5 year old while playing outside with his brother and a friend?
The Neighborhood Watch sign.
Yep. He just noticed it. Why the terror? That sign means a robber is coming. A quick explanation of what the sign actually means calmed the terror, but he's still a bit worried about a robber coming.

More tears at bedtime. Big brother has a friend over and is being allowed to stay up late. It sure is tough to be the younger sibling. You just want to be part of all the action. What a concept. This often sticks with us as adults. We still want to be a part of something fun and/or meaningful. Typically we don't shed tears when it doesn't work the way we want, but we still feel those negative feelings. We still feel a bit left out. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we aren't a part of that it takes over the greatness of what should be our focus. Sometimes we become so bitter that that is where we place our entire focus. It's no fun to feel excluded, but the negative self-talk must end! Our worth is not defined by who includes us or what groups and activities we are a part of.

On the other side of this, do you intentionally exclude people? Stop it! You might learn something or gain a new friend if you take the time to ask someone just a few questions. There just might be something that bonds you. You'll never know if you're only focused on your elite few. What do you think? Is it possible to have too many friends? I don't think so. Surely, it's a positive thing to get to know, really know, more people that you come in contact with on a regular basis. Surely you are put in their path for a reason.

More of this

2013

2013 in review-

January: I began a new job with ARTreach 180 working with middle school youth. What an impact that has had on my life! ARTreach students, I love you. I hope I have had a fraction of the impact on your lives that you have had on mine.

February: Taylor started a new job that stretched us with juggling family roles. 12-8 is a tough shift!

March: A tough month working on my boundaries, what I can control, what I can't, what I will accept, what I won't.

April: The hardest month of the year. It didn't start out that way. Taylor planned a trip to Callaway Gardens and we did the tree top adventure. Ziplining is fun! Traci Robinson, I think of you so often. My heart hurts often still, missing you. The image of your radiant smile I hold dear. I wish I'd said more the day Sheena and I came to the hospital. Many lessons you taught I will forever hold dear. I'm still working to grasp that you're not here with us.

May: This was the month that I got to rejoice with a few friends and their pregnancy announcements! My first baby turned 9!

June:  I took a summer position with ARTreach 180 that combined North Campus and South Campus and also allowed me to work with some high school students. Truly a remarkable experience! Hubby and I enjoyed a little time celebrating our anniversary.

July:  We celebrated Taylor's birthday. We spent a day at West Point Lake. Some sunglasses were lost. We can laugh now. We weren't at the time. Let me tell you Twilley men are serious about their sunglasses! Taylor went with the youth from our church to a conference. Life changing for him. Life changing for us.

August: The beginning of August took me to Camp Lejeune, Jacksonville, NC for the last time. Mom, Paula, Parker, Grant, and I met Terry, Donna, and Brandi to welcome home TJ from Okinawa. We were joined by Billy and Mariel Nelson who brought Luke. They had graciously taken care of TJ's dog while he was away. TJ and Luke's reunion was the best!
I also began working at McDonough Methodist's  Moms Morning Out program with my dear friends Allison and Angela. These 1 and 2 year olds are darling!

September: TJ finished his time in the Marine Corps and moved back to Georgia! The Twilleys love that! The new semester of ARTreach 180 began. South Campus is doing 7-12 grade now. I began a new position as Assistant Director. Kelly rocks in creativity. Tony rocks the drama and encouragement. I keep it all organized and try to get the students talking on topic every day. Have I said how much I love these kids and my job? We got involved in a lifegroup with some other families from our church. Let me say that these people are such a special group. 2014 is going to be great as we continue having fellowship with one another.

October: We moved! We are  grateful for the connection that led to this. Brad amd Lanie  Beth Sinclair have truly been a godsend. TJ and Luke joined us. It took 3-4 days before Luke decided it was okay to be left home alone with me. He loves me now. I started spending Fridays with 2 special little girls. I've quickly come to love them.

November: We traveled to Naples, FL for Austin and Emily's wedding. She was of course beautiful! TJ saved the day by going imto the dumpster to get something that meant a lot to the bride. He made a great best man, and Grant was such a cute ring bearer. Taylor got a promotion and new working hours! Having him home in the evenings is going to be fabulous! We hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year. It wasn't nearly as stressful as I thought it might be. We enjoyed it!

December: Brandi came to visit and stayed with us for 3 weeks. It was lovely. (It would have been better if she had stayed!) We did a little hosting with my aunt and uncle just before Christmas. I  sure do enjoy hosting! My baby turned 5! We rounded out the year building a fort in the living room to spend a cozy New Year's Eve with the boys.

God has great plans for us in 2014! That I am sure.

September

Fall. Autumn. Whatever you choose to call it, it is my favorite time of the year. That's what I say. That's what I think I think. This time of year, I always find myself going back to 1996. This year that makes it 17 years ago. The worst time in my life. It usually begins on the 23rd. The day I got the call. I clearly remember most conversations and most places I went. Then the 24th gets here. I remember the hope I had. The worst case scenario isn't really going to happen in my life. I remember dinner out with my dear friend and roommate. We talked about all the things we wanted to do in our lives before the world as we know it comes to an end. "Hey God, wait on us to do what we want." Oh the path we have each forged through since that evening. I remember we both ordered the same meal. I got water. She got sweet tea. The bill came and both our totals were $6.66. I was charged for sweet tea. I got that changed and she ordered dessert. The updated call that night wasn't so good. The 25th was a day of riding to Virginia and not eating and getting a headache and eating a grilled ham and cheese from a hospital cafeteria. The 26th? A grim yellow painted room with boxes of tissues placed strategically throughout the room. Planning a funeral for someone I could still go see but who couldn't respond. The 27th is what I refer to as the worst day of my life. I suppose because even though we've already planned the funeral the doctors have stamped a date and time and so it's official. I reflect on this week every single year. For 17 years I have spent time this very week thinking and remembering so many details of the same horrific event. Tonight I am asking myself if in doing this am I missing out on capturing brilliant details of today! Autumn. Crisp mornings. Warm afternoons. Beautiful colors to be seen. Pumpkin smells. Spice smells. Apple and Cinnamon smells. So many of my favorites. Yet, I spend almost a week every year during my most favorite season remembering every little detail of the worst time of my life. Today I began getting things in order in our new home. What a blessing. So much present to work with.

A sweet pup found his comfy spot

Motherhood. Aunthood.

I'm not really sure where this is going tonight. Whew! What a day in the land of motherhood!  Attitude. Disobedience. Whining. I had to look up some scripture on joy. The joy of motherhood was being sucked dry today. Grace. Thankful for the abundance of grace He gives when I'm struggling to provide the same for my boys. He loves. Oh how He loves. Just the perspective I needed after a long day of parenting. How often does He say the same thing about me?! Why won't you just LISTEN and DO?! Oh yes, that.

As the summer break comes to a close here in GA, the Twilleys have a few things to look forward to. Our favorite Marine returns from overseas in the next few weeks! Parker will miss 2-3 days of school for it. I consider a Marine Corps battalion homecoming quite educational! This will be the second one my boys have witnessed. I hope it helps instill love of country and an understanding of the immeasurable value of our military. The homecomings are definitely better than the send offs, which they've witnessed as well. I'm sure the memories will remain for Parker. I'm really hoping that the lovely niece is present for this homecoming! We need a few things to fall into place for that to happen. Middle of the night excitement waiting on a company of Marines to arrive should be interesting. Of course, I'll update with that!

A little reminder of their sweetness: